Parenthood
Family. Aside from spirituality and faith, it is the most important aspect/thing in a persons life. And I would argue, that it is much more influencial than spirituality to the average person. Though we know the Triangle starts with God, then cascades down to family, most Christians invest the MOST time into family. We may try to avoid it but it manages to involve itself into most peoples lives in a significant way. It is an institution made by God but also practiced world wide, recognized universally for its importance. It can be something that points us directly to God or something that hinders us from knowing Him deeply.
When a child first joins a family, all he does is recieve. In fact, my theory on why babies are so cute is because at birth, that is all they have to offer! Being super cute. At this point, his/her selfishness meter is pretty much full. As he grows older, he is able to reciprocate love and give towards his/her family more. Even older and you may be expected to contribute towards chores, and even financial means. It is a slow transition towards learning to give and be less selfish. When you approach the opposite end of the spectrum of Family (parenthood), you are now expected to give in unproportionate amounts, and closely model unconditional love. While in a marriage partnership, your expectation is to recieve from your significant other, you know that you cannot expect much DIRECTLY from a new child. Family and selfishness/selflessness are very very closely tied. The role of family CAN have a perpetual and cyclical effect.
The other day, I told my wife that one day, our baby boy will break her heart. He will one day leave her for another, and blaze his own path that does not include her. Such is the life and sacrifice of a parent. But, at the same time, our love and care will provide a safe harbor, and a launching pad for him to truly discover God, discover himself and in turn fulfill God intended purposes here on earth. Her love, care, nurture, and work will have a direct influence on how much of that potential is realized. I believe that is the role of a parent. A high and meaningful calling for sure. There is much affection and love to be enjoyed in a parent child relationship. Most parents look forward to playing sports with their child, look forward to witnessing their recitles, plays, and concerts. But the ultimate story of a parent is to give without expecting anything in return. To help realize the potential of their child not for selfish purposes, but for Kingdom purposes. So many parents pour out into their children. They sacrifice and labor... most 1st gen Korean American parents are this way. They sacrifice in ways (not necessarily more)unique even from other cultures. But in turn they also have come to expect much from their children. Their return on investment is to see their child successful in their eyes. This is why grades are such a big deal to them... this is why they are so eager to brag and boast... this is why family image is so important to the 1 gen Korean American household. It is an affirmation of their sacrifice, a tangible return on investment. While so many good values are passed down, and examples are set, sometimes this creates an environment where it is hard for a child to realize their OWN potential. Parents live vicariously through their own child. So in a way, all of their sacrifice, labor, and toil is NOT unconditional... not without expectation. (These are generalizations but I believe still hold true in some sense) Even those that find Christ.. so many struggle with the identity given to them by their parents vs the identity they have in Christ, which fueled with their interests and passions will help to fulfill their purposes for Him. I have witnessed it a great deal.
We can also look at other images of family. Those that did not have solid launching pads so to speak. Or those that weren't given any expectations. How about families where kids themselves are made into the center of the world. There is no need to leave the launching pad. The world can come to them. The results of such environments are numerous in a world plagued with mans sin. These are all a few small and general examples of the images of family in today's world
Family should be a body that you can always lean on. But biblical parenthood is about sacrifice and the greater picture. Lineage is a big deal in the old testament. But the emphasis is always how God used family to fulfill the greater purpose, HIS Story. While God is a God who redeems (the prodigal son). I believe He desires biblical parenthood and families that will help to carry the legacy of His Story.
There is much happiness to be had within a family. Many memories and experiences to treasure. To sacrifice unconditionally in parenthood... to shed selfishness does not mean that happiness is also sacrificed. However, we should be reminded that JOY not happiness is our ultimate goal in life. And that ultimate Joy is to know Christ and fulfill HIS purposes through marriage, parenthood, and the lineage of family. Regardless of family history, this invitation and calling is for everyone willing. He is calling men AND women, to be brave enough, and dream enough to join. Many, many, people will get married in their lives. But it will be to find personal happiness... even within the Christian circle. But without understanding Gods purposes for parenthood, marriage, and family, those marriages will often have a hard time making a mark and contributing to Kingdom work... more personally, happiness and joy will suffer as a result. In a world of instant gratification, that is hard to see, but I believe it holds true. The commitment towards a Godly family is not the sacrifice of happiness, romance, and all of the above as mentioned. But understanding your own identity, Gods calling and purposes for marriage and family are vital towards creating ones own path and legacy as well as contributing to His Story.
